Learning to truly love yourself is a journey. It takes the courage to unapologetically embrace your authentic self – flaws and all. As children, we are born with this. We begin to disown who we truly are as the beliefs, experiences, societal norms and expectations take hold. We criticize all the parts of ourselves that don’t fit in the boxes society has created. We start the journey of becoming who we think we should be vs. embracing, loving, leaning in and leading with who we are. We go through years of conflict in relationships – in search of love that we are not first giving to ourselves. Wondering why love is so hard. People learn to love you based on how you love yourself. Loving yourself is a daily practice and lifelong journey.
We all have a tremendous capacity for love. I didn’t realize how much I had until I had my children. My love for them led me to my love for myself. My lack of self-love was passed down from my mother and sister. I did not want to pass it down to my children. So I did the work.
Now that my children are grown, I’m still doing the work. I’m still learning how to love myself better every day for no other reason than I deserve it. As I began to transition from a “mother first” to “Corean first” identity, my therapist gave me a tool to help with letting go of the lifelong habit of making every decision in my life for my children. I needed a replacement. The new person I live my life for is my 80 year old self. The day I meet her, I want her to say “you did it for us and oh what a life we are living!”
Self-love can be hard work but it’s the most important work. Imagine if we all learned to love ourselves a bit better so we could know how to love each other better. What a world we could create.
Love & Light,
Create a self-love affirmation, write it on a sticky note and put it somewhere you will see it everyday, like your bathroom mirror. Speak this affirmation outloud to yourself every time you see it. You can also do this on the homescreen of your phone or computer. The point is to give yourself affirmations of love throughout the day. Each time you do, it will change the energy of the day and build your self-love practice.