To forgive is a verb. It’s an action. The definition of forgiveness is to stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake. Many of us hold on to anger and resentment towards others for all the ways we feel wronged. We also feel this way towards ourselves. Knowing you need to forgive is one thing, doing is another.
Growing up without my father, I was angry towards him. I was resentful that he didn’t take care of himself so he could be there for me. I constantly imagined how different my life would be if he hadn’t died. How much better it would be if he had been around. I was angry with my mother for how she handled my father’s death and how she lived her life, we lived our lives, after. It took me a long time to realize she was doing the best she could with where she was. So was my father. They never learned the tools. I had to stop being angry and blaming them for how I felt about my own life. It wasn’t serving me in any way.
Raising my children as a single mother gave me a new understanding of my own parents and taught me even more about forgiveness. I had to learn to forgive their fathers for the toxic, abusive behaviors and forgive myself for the guilt of getting in, staying in and leaving those situations. I had to give myself grace for that season of my life and gratitude for being brave enough to change everything. I knew from my parents’ lives what happens when you never grow or change. I knew I had to learn from it and do better. I had to do better for my children and for me. The first step was forgiving myself.
When you commit to deep self discovery and inner work, you start to face the low vibration things we tend to bury or hold onto. When we don’t process and release things like anger and resentment they find a home in our bodies and begin to make us sick. They keep us from the joy we deserve to feel. Forgiveness is never for the other person. And many times the most important person to forgive is ourselves. It’s the path to releasing what is holding you back and taking back your power so you can really live the life you desire.
Love & Light,
Write a love letter to yourself as a child forgiving any mistakes made or yet to come and promising to love yourself through it all. Tell yourself all the things you needed to hear as a child and give yourself permission to heal and move on.